


bones will bend, break, and turn to dust

by hannahsapiens



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahsapiens/pseuds/hannahsapiens
Summary: Events that occurred after the funeral were quite hazy to Shikamaru.





	bones will bend, break, and turn to dust

**Author's Note:**

> constructive criticism is valid and mistakes will be corrected once pointed out

Shikamaru runs his hand over the last of Naruto’s things: his favorite necktie and his favorite shirt.

 

The rest of Naruto’s things had been packed a week ago. Events that occurred after the funeral were quite hazy to Shikamaru. He doesn’t even recall packing away his husband’s stuff. All he knows is that he woke up one morning and Naruto’s favorite mug wasn’t sitting beside his own anymore.

 

Shikamaru smiles, softly and sadly as he picks the necktie up. It was the first thing he ever bought for Naruto, back during the first few months of their relationship. Shikamaru had bought it with his first paycheck from the local grocery store two blocks away from their first apartment. Naruto never wore it. He kept telling Shikamaru, with a coy smile on his face, that he had thrown it away. He hadn’t of course. Shikamaru had caught him running his hands over the necktie a couple of times. Shikamaru would tease him, back then, casually persuading him to just wear the tie.

 

“It clashes with my outfit,” Naruto would say. And it was pretty dumb to Shikamaru cause Naruto wore orange all the time. Everything about Naruto just clashes.

 

Shikamaru is pulled out of the memory and he drops the necktie into the box before the tears fall from his eyes.

 

He picks up Naruto’s shirt.

 

He remembers the last time Naruto wore the shirt. He remembers hugging Naruto the night before he lost him forever. He had hugged him, tightly, begged Naruto not to go.

 

“It’s our anniversary.” He had told Naruto grumpily. “And it’s our tenth anniversary too. A whole decade naruto. We’ve been married for a decade.”

 

He remembers his cheek brushing up against the faded band logo, his finger tracing the broken letters. Naruto had chuckled that night, kisses him softly, and then explained for the fifth time how the office had tasked him to go over the other branch to help out.

 

“It’s important. Besides, I’d only be gone until noon. Then we can spend the entire evening together.”

 

Of course, Naruto never came back. He doesn’t like acknowledging that.

 

Releasing a sob, Shikamaru puts the shirt against his face. He takes a deep breath and he thinks, for a few seconds, that Naruto was there with him. That Naruto never left for the stupid trip. That Naruto had made it back safely that night and they had spent their anniversary dancing to old tunes under the stars, swaying softly in their backyard as they pull each other closer. Unwilling to break the illusion, Shikamaru thinks that he could live with his eyes closed forever.

 

For a brief second, just the tiniest second, he feels phantom arms wrap around him, and he closes his eyes tighter, chasing the feeling of familiar arms, willing the slightest touch to become corporeal. He begs in his mind. Maybe, he thinks, if he begs hard enough Naruto would come back to him.

 

He opens his eyes, and for a while, he thinks he sees Naruto sitting on the bed, looking at him, grinning like everything was gonna be okay.

 

Shikamaru drops the shirt into the box as if it burned him. Taking a few deep breaths, he closes the box.

 

When Shikamaru met Naruto it was like he was flung into the sun. But, instead of getting burned, he had been filled with warmth and loving. The fifteen years they had spent with each other had been the best years of his life. So when Naruto ha died it was like he was plunged into a lake of ice, and to this day, weeks after he lost Naruto, he still feels like he’s drowning.

 

Shikamaru takes one last look around.

 

“I miss you.” He says into the room. Receiving no reply, he lifts the box filled with his husband’s things and walks out of the room. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t think he’ll survive it.

**Author's Note:**

> from the bottom of my heart, my bad
> 
> scream at me on twitter: @iidakimasu


End file.
